Maybe You're In DEAR EVERYBODY Too

I always get a strange jolt of something in the back of my brain whenever I see J.M. Coetzee's THE LIFE AND TIMES OF MICHAEL K in a bookstore. That's one thing.

Then this other thing happened at a party. I was eating cake and this woman walked up to me and said, I'm Debbie Miller. I said something to her that indicated that I was willing to accept the fact that she was Debbie Miller and I ate some more cake. She said that she was her name again and emphasized the syllables. I realized that I was supposed to understand something, but I didn't. Then she said, Page 147? Then she said, The yearbook quotes? I still couldn't remember, but I tried to pretend as if I did. She knew I was pretending and said, I don't think you wrote DEAR EVERYBODY. I shrugged and she walked away. I went to get some more cake.

Here are all the names of all the characters:

Allison Adler, Mr. Akers, Mrs. Akers, Lisa Asher, Lisa Baer, Paul Barnett, Professor Bartoli, Michael Brody, Alice Bender, Jonathon Bender, Grandma Bender, Grandpa Bender, Robert Bender, Sara Bender, Thomas Bender, Professor Boyette, Coach Brackett, Cole Brooks, Diane Brunson, Jane Brunson, Sam Caginello, Simone Chute, Sheri Collucci, Mary Craftman, Joleen Curtis, Terrence Darnell, Veronica Dixon, Mr. Driscoll, Mrs. Driscoll, Mr. Evers, Mrs. Evers, Heather Fairing, Mrs. Farmington, Megan Fitzgerald, Dr. Fritch, Jennie Fuentes, Mr. Gardner, Mark Gibbons, Candace Graham, Kathy Granger, Lisa Green, Dr. Gregory, Kelly Hagan, Mr. Hall, Mrs. Hall, Maxine Haller, Coach Hawkins, Meredith Henderson, Thomas Hernandez, Greg Holiday, Henry Howard, Kay Huebler, Jimmy Ickiss, Al Johnson, Robin Johnson, Jimmy Kaspar, Bill Kendrick, Brian Knott, Francine Kuehn, Charles Leckel, Professor Lindstrom, Professor Lipaski, Ellen Lipsyte, Professor Martine, Catherine Mason, Sharon May, Carol McAnallan, Mr. McComb, Mrs. McCoy, Paula McDowell, Barbara Mertz, Debbie Miller, Leo Moore, Thomas Morris, Professor Moubray, Dr. Newman, Mark Nichols, Mr. O’Brien, Mrs. O’Brien, Megan O’Malley, Carol Olson, Grandma Olson, Harold Olson, Sara Olson, Joe Pennington, Angela Pirelli, Scott Poor, Bob Potterman, Marie Purdy, Chris Rathburn, Piper Reichman, Steve Rigowski, David Rissman, Mr. Roberts, Dr. Ross, Blinky Rush, Mr. Ryan, Lesley Samaras, Dan Schneider, Claire Sherman, Maud Siegel, Molly Simmons, Cheryl Smith, Tammy Spencer, Debbie Stornant, Rose Stringer, Mrs. Sussex, Mr. Taft, Jane Thompson, Laura Thorp, Mrs. Thorp, Dana Tucker, Ginny Twichell, Amanda VanderMere, David Vaughn, Elizabeth Vogel, Rosa Vostella, Danny Wakowski, Jim Washburn, Dana West, Ted Whipple, Lisa Wilcox, Steven Wilson, Alice Winters, Grandma Winters, Grandpa Winters, Maggie Winters, Miss Workman.